How Do You Restart a Broken Marriage?

Rekindling a Marriage After a Rough Patch: A Christian Perspective

Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God, meant to be a lifelong commitment filled with love, joy, and mutual support.

However, there are times when marriages face challenging seasons, often leaving couples feeling disconnected and discouraged. As Christians, we believe that God is the foundation of our marriages, and through His guidance and grace, we can find hope, restoration, forgiveness, and renewed love. Let's explore how to rekindle a marriage after a rough patch, based on biblical principles and God's unfailing promises.

 God's Design for Marriage
To understand how to rekindle a marriage, it is crucial to grasp God's original design for marriage. In Genesis 2:24, we learn that God designed marriage to be an exclusive relationship between one man and one woman. This verse emphasizes the significance of unity and the joining together of husband and wife as one flesh.

 In Ephesians 5:31-32, the apostle Paul reaffirms God's design for marriage by quoting the same verse from Genesis. He explains that the union between a husband and wife is a profound mystery that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church. This highlights the importance of love, commitment, and self-sacrifice within a marital relationship.

Unity, Forgiveness, Love, and Commitment in Marriage
Unity, forgiveness, love, and commitment are essential elements for a thriving and rekindled marriage. The Bible provides valuable insights and scriptural references on these aspects of marriage.

Unity:
Unity is vital in a marriage because it empowers the unique identities God designed in both the husband and wife to actively work together towards a common purpose and shared goal of fulfilling the Father's will.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 encourages couples to embrace unity by stating, "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor." This verse emphasizes the strength and support that unity brings to a marriage, and the blessing both receive from their submission to God's design.

 Forgiveness:
Forgiveness is an essential component of any relationship, including marriage. Colossians 3:13 instructs, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." This verse reminds us of God's forgiveness towards us and encourages us to extend the same grace and forgiveness to our spouse.

 Love:
Love is the foundation of a strong and rekindled marriage. Ephesians 5:25 reminds husbands to "love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This sacrificial love, modeled after Christ's love for us, requires selflessness, patience, and a genuine desire to prioritize the well-being of our spouse.

 Commitment:
Commitment is a key component of a lasting and rekindled marriage. In Proverbs 16:3, we are advised to commit our plans to the Lord, and our marriage is no exception. By making a commitment to honor and cherish our spouse, even during challenging times, we demonstrate our dedication to the marriage covenant.

 Practical Steps to Rekindle a Marriage:

 1. Seek God's Wisdom:

Before anything else, seek God's wisdom through prayer and study of His Word. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. By surrendering our desires and seeking His guidance, we open ourselves to receive divine insight on how to restore our marital relationship.

 Application:

• Begin each day with prayer, asking God to guide your thoughts, actions, and decisions in your marriage.
• Study the Bible together as a couple, seeking wisdom and guidance in its teachings.
• Attend church services and engage in fellowship with other believers to strengthen your spiritual foundation, and build relationships with other strong Christian families.

2. Embrace Forgiveness:

Forgiveness lies at the core of every healthy marriage. Just as God extends His forgiveness to us, we must also extend forgiveness to our spouse. Ephesians 4:32 teaches us to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." When we forgive, we release the burden of resentment and create space for healing and reconciliation.

 Application:

• Acknowledge any unresolved conflicts or past hurts and commit to forgiving one another.
• Seek opportunities to communicate openly and honestly about the pain caused, express your forgiveness, and work towards rebuilding trust.

3. Communicate with Love and Respect:

Communication is a vital aspect of any relationship, especially in marriage. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love, emphasizing the importance of compassionate and respectful communication. Instead of blaming or criticizing, focus on expressing your feelings and needs with kindness and humility.

 Application:

• Create a safe and non-judgmental space for open and honest communication.
• Practice active listening, seeking to understand your spouse's perspective without interruption or defensiveness.
• Use "I" statements to express your feelings and avoid attacking or demeaning language.

4. Rekindle Intimacy:

Physical intimacy is a beautiful gift from God that strengthens the bond between spouses. Song of Solomon 7:10 reminds us that "I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me." It is essential to prioritize time for physical intimacy, nurturing the emotional and spiritual connection between partners. Explore ways to reignite the spark and create opportunities for intimacy within your marriage.

 Application:

• Set aside dedicated time for quality moments together, such as date nights or weekend getaways.
• Communicate openly about your desires and needs, creating a safe space for vulnerability and intimacy.
• Prioritize affectionate gestures, such as hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation, to express love and desire for one another.

5. Cultivate a Spirit of Gratitude:

Gratitude has the power to transform our perspective and strengthen relationships. Philippians 4:6 encourages us to be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let our requests be made known to God. Expressing gratitude towards your spouse and acknowledging their positive traits and actions can foster a sense of appreciation and rekindle love in your marriage.

 Application:

• Take time each day to express gratitude for your spouse, both privately and verbally.
• Write down the things you appreciate about your spouse and share them with each other regularly.
• Practice acts of kindness and service towards your spouse, showing your love and appreciation in tangible ways.

Wrapping Up:

 Rekindling a marriage after a rough patch requires intentional effort, guided by God's principles and wisdom. By seeking God's guidance, embracing forgiveness, communicating with love and respect, nurturing intimacy, and cultivating gratitude, couples can experience the restoration and renewal of their marriage. Remember, with God at the center of your relationship, there is always hope for a stronger and more fulfilling marriage.

If you need more help, click this link and schedule an appointment for pastoral marriage counseling.

Whenever you're ready, here are other ways we can help:

One-on-One Mentor Coaching: Our coaching sessions are tailored to assist you in understanding who God made you to be, and how to practically live out that truth everyday by design. Whether you're feeling trapped in your spiritual progress or desiring to gain a more comprehensive understanding of God's plan for your life, our mentor coaching can provide the guidance you need.

 Business Consulting/Planning: Our business consulting and planning services are designed towards small business owners who are either looking to start a business or who have a business and are seeking solutions to problems with finances, systems, sales etc.  

Marriage and Family Counseling: Our pastoral marriage and family counseling services are designed to help couples and families navigate challenges and strengthen their relationships based on biblical principles. Our experienced counselors provide a safe and supportive environment where open communication, trust, and healing can take place.